Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
