I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
