its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
