Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize