he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
