I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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