You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
