I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
