The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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