Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
