he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
