As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
