We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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