TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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