Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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