Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
