if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
