what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
