She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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