dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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