plz talk dirty to me
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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