You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When did angry sex become our thing?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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