made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
