He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize