Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
