what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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