"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
