I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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