I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
