Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
