I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
