I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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