we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize