problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
