Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize