I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize