I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
