wat bout pragnant strippers??
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
