is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
