My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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