so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
