the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
