Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
