Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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