Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
