How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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