STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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