some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
