Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
