you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
