Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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