I have demons in me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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