I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
