it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
