how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize