My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
