Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
