Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
