i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
