did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just google imaged poop.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
