Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm way too hungover for life right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
