New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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