yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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